Mordecai and Rigby Meet Excalibur
by usernamesareuncool
Summary: I think Excalibur has finally met his match... sort of...


"Clean out Skips' garage OR YOUR FIRED!"

"Fine, dude, we'll clean out that stupid garage already.", said Mordeacai.

"Uuuuugggghhhhh, why do WE always have to clean out his garage?", Rigby complained.

"DO IT OR YOUR FIRED! NOW GET TO WORK!", Benson almost exploded out of anger.

When they opened the door to Skips' garage, a bunch of junk almost fell out and crushed them.

"How does Benson expect us to do all this!?", Rigby whined.

"Dude", Mordecai punched Rigby on the shoulder, "Let's just get this over with."

After cleaning out a lot of stuff, they found what looked like a really old book. It had a simple design on the front. On the top, it read 'Excalibur'.

"Whoa, this must be ancient, it's all dusty and it looks really old.", Mordecai said.

"Well, since it's Skips', it must be filled with all sorts of wizard spells or something." Rigby said in awe.

"You're right, we should at least see why it says 'Excalibur' on the front."

So they looked through it and they decided they would go to the cave. They were just about to go in the cart when Benson came up to them, red in the face.

"ARE YOU SKIPPING WORK!?"Benson yelled after them. "AGAIN!?"

"It's not what you think. We're going to get this 'holy' sword that 'gives fame and glory to those who wield it.'" Mordecai said in a calm voice.

"Yeah." Rigby added.

"So you think you can skip work just for a SWORD!?"

"Yup."

"That's about right."

"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR-"

"It's okay. They can go.", said a voice.

"Skips?" Benson, Mordecai, and Rigby said simultaneously.

"They've been working really hard. You should give them a break." Skips told Benson.

"But-"

"Just trust me. I'll tell you later."

"Okay. I'll believe you, Skips."

So Mordecai and Rigby set off for Excalibur's cave while Skips told Benson how ANNOYING that thing was. Benson thought that was a great punishment and they deserved it for slacking off all the time.

Mordecai and Rigby had reached the cave.

Rigby said "Seems like the place."

"Duh", Mordecai said, "Where else would you keep a sword that gives fame and glory?"

They were going through the cave when they met a fairy.

"Can you tell us where Excalibur is?", asked Mordecai.

The fairy made a face and said, "Not far ahead.", and flew away.

Mordecai said, "Weird.", and they moved on.

They came to a bright area. In the middle there was a sword in stone.

"Hello there.", said a voice out of nowhere.

"Who said that?", said Rigby.

"It is I, Excalibur!"

"DID YOU SAY EXCALIBUR? WE'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR IT!", Rigby exclaimed.

There was a glowing light, and a white shrimp with a cane appeared.

"Eewwww. What is that?"

"FOOL! I am Excalibur! First you have to listen to my 1000 provisions!"

"But we-"

"FOOL! My legend begins in the 12th century!"

"Oh yeah! Well our legend begins... umm... at the park!", said Rigby with uncertainty.

"FOOL! What's your favorite number in between 1 and 12!"

"100!", Mordecai yelled in the anteater's face.

"FOOL! Are you insulting the great Excalibur?"

"Yeah I am!"

"FOOL-"

"You're the fool here!", shouted Rigby.

"YEAUUUHHHH!", Mordecai yelled.

"My mornings start with a cup of coffee!", Excalibur randomly said.

"So do ours! OOOHHHHHHHHHH! YEAUUHH!", said Mordecai and Rigby.

"FOOL! Do you know what this hat is?", asked Excalibur quickly.

"Duh. it's UGLY! HAHAHA!", replied Rigby.

"Yeah it is! OOOHHHHHHH!", added Mordecai.

"FOOL! It is a chef's hat!", Excalibur cried.

"Then cook me up some stupidity 'cuz I'm hungry!", said Mordecai.

"And add a dash of randomness too!", Rigby added.

"I am not a chef!", said Excalibur, getting annoyed.

"Also, you have to attend my 5-hour-long recitation party!"

"Huh?"

"What?"

**5 hours later...**

...and that is the end!"

"You're obnoxious!", Rigby yelled.

"Even more obnoxious than Rigby!", added Mordecai.

"Hey!"

"Plus, who even wrote this book?", Mordecai asked himself.

As Mordecai was looking for the author, Excalibur said "I did!" in a happy voice.

"No wonder. He's so obnoxious, of course _he_ wrote it.", said Mordecai.

"Well, can we have fame and glory now?"

"FOOL! Of course not! How would someone as annoying as you have a weapon as awesome as me!?"

"Well we didn't want you anyway!", said Rigby.

"GOODBYE!"

As Mordecai and Rigby were leaving, the same fairy they saw as they were coming came again and asked, "How was Excalibur?"

They shrugged and said "Eh, it was fun, until those 5 hours of talking randomness. That was when he got _really_ obnoxious."

"You are the WEIRDEST people I've met since that Hero guy..."

"Who?"

"Nobody."

"Well bye fairy!"

"Bye!"

When they got back to the park, Benson and Skips were there. Benson asked in a sarcastic voice, "So, how was Excalibur? Did you get it?"

"Pssshhhhh, no way. It was fun at first, but then he got sort of annoying when he started talking about rules for 5 hours. Sort of like Benson.", said Rigby.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY!? LIKE ME!? HIM!?", Benson yelled, turning a very bright red.

"Now you know how I couldn't master the Excalibur, right?", asked Skips.

"Kind of. He's an okay guy to be around for a little bit, but not 24/7. There's no way we'd want to bring him back to the park.", replied Mordecai.

"Why didn't you tell us, Skips? About Excalibur?", Rigby asked.

"I thought it would be a good punishment for you two slacking off all the time.", said Skips.

"You tried to punish us? Oh well, it didn't work anyways.", said Mordecai.

"You want to play some video games, dude?", asked Rigby.

"Sure."

**At Skips' garage...**

"Hey Fives, look at this old book that I found. It says, Eks... kah... li... ber?"

"Muscle Man, that says Excalibur!"

"What's that?"

"It's a holy sword that makes its wielder famous!"

"Oh, man. We gotta get that sword!"

So they ran to the cart, spun a few doughnuts, and headed off to the cave mentioned in the book.


End file.
